I’m scared.

That’s right, I am fucking scared. Terrified. I am moving to a city where I don’t speak the language, I have next to no money, little to no family support.

I don’t have my high school education so finding a job is going to be hard as shit, finding a place is going to be hard as shit, I’m scared as fuck and I have nobody to talk to about it. My family doesn’t understand at all, My husband while he was here said to me “don’t stress” How do you propose I do that? honestly.  come the fuck on.

 

That’s such a ridiculous thing to say under the circumstances. I’m getting separated/probably eventually a divorce, I have to move to another country, I have to move to a city where I don’t speak the language well, with no set place to stay other than my cousins couch, no job. Basically I’m fucking fucked, I have no clue how I’m going to survive, and my husband is looking me in the eye and saying “don’t stress” Thanks, I’ll try that.

 

 

I’m completely freaking out, but I’ll just get right on that.


8 responses to “I’m scared.

  • thenakedlistener

    You don’t speak the local lingo??? But I thought you’re in Ohio or thereabouts! Okay, okay, I can relate to Midwest America speaking ‘a kind of English.’ But I thought you’re from Canada, right? Erm, etes-vous canadienne-francaise? Votre anglais sonne plutot bien.

  • Ashley

    I’m moving to montreal, and your french in that comment is better than mine. I can speak it conversationally, but I’m nowhere near bilingual.

  • thenakedlistener

    Oh, I see. Kinda sad to hear you’re moving to Montreal – which means the sad business of splitting with your hubby. Well, my personal policy is not to split, but if it has to be done, then might as well get it over with ASAP. I’m not bilingual in French, but when France is just 30 miles across the English Channel, kinda have to know, know what I mean? Please, keep writing, keep blogging, the more I read you, the more I realise you actually have a way with words – a very unselfconscious way of expressing complex things in a straightforward way. I pass on my motto to you, “La douleur est ineluctable, la souffrance est optionelle” (“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”). Best wishes from Hong Kong. – Rob.

  • Ashley

    I know what you mean… Still after everything that’s happened, I would like to try to work it out, but I know that it would take so much effort. I hate the thought of divorce, so much. To me, marriage is sacred and I would do anything it took to try and save it, but alas, my husband is unwilling to do the same.

    I know what you mean, exactly. My family is french so I’ve picked up a lot from them.

  • thenakedlistener

    And you’re French is only “conversational”??? That pretty much puts you way, way ahead of me! I’m basically on “sign language” mode and only operable in front of ladies with amazing good looks … namsayin’?

  • Ashley

    Well, I had no clue what you were saying in your second reply. I got the first one, but if you hadn’t translated I’d be like “what?!” It’s something I’m going to need to work hard at, but When I lived in Canada before, that was the only thing stopping me from moving to montreal, you know? I figure total immersion into french culture will either push me into learning it super quickly, or send me crying back home like a little baby.

  • thenakedlistener

    C’mon, Ashley, you’ll be fine. Everyone’s fine sooner or later after picking up French. After picking up French, everyone thinks faster.

  • thenakedlistener

    Hey, Ashley, if you’re getting scared more and want to talk, you can find my email on my blog and PM me if you want. (God I hate saying things like this on a public comment thread…)

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